माँ

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माँ 

 Dec - 2017
Its been almost 2 and half years since I haven't heard your voice. I still remember the day 24th Dec 2017 the time was 10:30 AM, I cannot forget that cold winter morning. Its been so hard for me for the last 2 and half years to live without you. You left this world in my arms. I couldn't do anything. I wish i could rewind that one moment of the time and try to bring you back, i know i cannot but with this feeling that pierce my heart every time i go back in time to imagine that day, i miss you more and more. I know wherever you are you will always shine in people's life. 

 Oct - 2017
Before thinking about this day I always recollect the Diwali which we all celebrated together. It felt so perfect at that point in time and i can do anything to get back to that very moment where we were together clicking pictures on Diwali evening. Who knew after a week from when we were celebrating the festival together with happiness there will be so much pain in our lives. Even the thought of when i got a call from Uncle to let me know about you being diagnosed with Breast Cancer gives me chills. I still cant get over the fact that a lady whom i seen working throughout me growing up in a condition anyone would not want their closed ones to see. We have always been positive after your surgery but there was a fear always which was in our heads. Fear of moving on in life without you, Fear of not talking to you, Fear of losing you!! 

 I have never seen my dad and my sister broken before the day you left. I still can't console my sister and my dad. There is a strange feeling which cannot be described in simple words. Its a fact that in life your parents are everything for you. You always have them behind you for everything good or bad in your life. Its very difficult for any one to loose a parent. Its difficult to overcome the pain that you go through each passing day, you cant let go the pain within you and move on because each and every moment spent with them moves like a picture in front of your eyes. Still life takes us ahead and leaves everything behind which cannot be erased from your mind. Going through this phase I know that its not good but it really feels bad when I see anyone else with their mom, i just feel how lucky they are to share this very moment with their Mom. Only thing in life that keeps me moving is the inspiration and good things told by my Mom. She believed in God and always (in her pain too) never confronted us that she is in pain, the fact that we would be broken in pieces if we would see her in pain. There is not a single moment in the times during her last two months after surgery when she had a negative thought in her mind, she always was very positive that whatever the situation is she will get out of it. 
Present Day
As years have passed ,I have moved ahead in life but each day there's something which i still miss - "Your Presence".

 I wish i could meet you and tell you how much I love and miss you!!

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